The Long Road Home
by Ryaninthesky
Summary: The path to hell is not the only one paved with good intentions.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Rizzles fic, so be nice. Takes place after The Beast In Me and follows a (mostly) cannon storyline. The next update will take at least a week as I have finals coming up and, unfortunately, real life trumps lesbian romance fiction. Enjoy!

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><p>Patrick Doyle held the flame close to his face, unhurriedly lighting a cigarette. He was sitting in an unremarkable dark sedan just a few blocks from the Boston Police Department, waiting for a call.<p>

He considered the smoke floating up in front of his face, curling and twisting into fantastical shapes. He had a bet going on with himself, and he hated to lose. Which one would make the call? Long odds were on his daughter. He didn't blame her. If she wanted nothing to do with him, so much the better. _We gave her up to keep her out of it, dammit. _Paddy thought, momentarily annoyed that he was in this position in the first place. _Oh well_.

The black guy? Nah, he didn't seem the type to get his hands dirty. Too fresh, still learning that there were some things that were best taken care of out of court. Away from the innocent.

Maybe the other one? What was his name? Anyway, he was a better bet. Around Doyle's own age, been on the force a long time, knew how the world worked. But he was gunning for a promotion and wouldn't risk his job. No, Doyle knew who would call.

He was giving himself three to one odds on the brunette. Headstrong, known for bending the rules, with a strong sense of justice... he chuckled. _Reminds me of myself at that age. _She and his daughter spent a lot of time together, so naturally Paddy had had her fully checked out. There had to be something there.

_Brrrrr...Brrrr..._ the phone vibrated on the console next to him. He regarded it for a second before answering. "Yeah?"

"Tommy O'Rourke."

Doyle heard a click and the line went dead. Turning on the engine and pulling out into the deserted Boston night, he considered buying himself a celebratory pint.

He just had some business to take care of first.

* * *

><p>Several hours later Jane was still in mild shock, nursing a beer and staring at her hand as if it was no longer part of her body. What she had done yesterday went against everything she had learned, everything she <em>was<em>.

But Maura would be safe. And that was what mattered.

Suddenly she felt sick and ran to the bathroom, dry-heaving into the toilet. _This sucks_.

Dropping down on her couch again with Jo, Jane took a long drink of her beer.

_Ok Jane, let's take it from the top. A murderer was threatening Maura. Said murderer also might have known that Maura was Paddy Doyle's biological daughter. If he ever got to prison and had a chance to talk, the whole criminal underworld including Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom would have known within the week. There was no choice. I had to do it to keep Maura safe. And I had to do it... because I love her._

Jane dropped her head into her hands. How had everything gotten so fucked up? It was going to be so easy. Identity theft bad guy gets killed by pissed off bad guy, good guys put away pissed off bad guy, and everyone meets up at the Dirty Robber for drinks and Jane's happy fun stare-longingly-at-Maura time. Simple. Or as simple as her life got, anyway.

Now... Jane felt so lost. She had risked her career, hell, maybe even her life to keep Maura safe. More than that, she had turned her back on everything she held dear in a split second decision. All her life, she'd wanted to do one thing – join the Boston police force. Help people who couldn't help themselves, keep the city safe. She loved it, had never given in to the cynicism some of the other detectives felt, because she was making a difference. Every scumbag she got off the street was a person who would not kill again. She'd always felt that she was saving the world, in her own little way. Playing superhero in real life.

But this...vigilante justice was no justice at all. She felt that in her core, knew that law and order had to prevail to keep the world running. No matter what the cost...

Putting her life on the line for the force had never bothered her. It was just something you did, something that might happen every day. She certainly would like to avoid getting killed, but if she did, at least she'd made a difference in the world with the time she'd had. _Probably why nobody wants to __date me_.

Maura...Maura had never signed up for this. Medical examiners weren't supposed to be in danger, dammit. Gorgeous, wonderful Maura; it was already so hard for her to socialize – it had been the 'ice queen' nickname (along with others less PG) that had drawn Jane to her in the first place. Every protective instinct Jane had, every reason she'd joined the force, had driven her to support the ME, and in her Jane had found one of the best friends she'd ever known. If only her heart had let her keep it that way. There were times, when some jackass said something stupid and Maura's sweet face had faded from confusion to hurt, that Jane ached to hold her and never let go, to promise that nothing would ever hurt her again.

When Maura had gone missing earlier... nothing had prepared her for the emptiness she'd felt at the thought of never seeing her again. Hanging her head in embarrassment, Jane remembered frantically promising to do anything to keep Maura be honest, she was surprised Korsak hadn't told her to go home, that she was too close to the case. Maybe he knew she just would have gone out alone.

It was all gone, now. All changed. Her integrity, her pride, everything that had drawn her to the force in the first place. And for what? For a stupid crush on her very straight best friend. Hell, even fairytale princes got a kiss out of the job!

Jane pulled several more beers from the refrigerator and lined them up on the table. Without coasters. _Take that!_ She fully planned on drinking this night away and chalking everything up to a bad dream.

All she'd managed to do tonight was prove that everyone had their price. And now one of the most notorious mob hit-men in Boston knew hers.


	2. Chapter 2

Ooh, another chapter so soon! So much for my final papers... wonder if this can count in my class?

This chapter is based on 'The Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang' and takes a significant amount of dialogue from the episode. However, I have tweaked the point of view for the needs of the fic, so, enjoy a new spin on an old favorite.

Joe started barking every time she heard the key in the lock. Jane had halfheartedly tried to get her to stop, but now she kinda liked how excited the little fuzzball was to see her.

"Hey Joe! Happy to see mommy? Huh? Wanna go for a walk with mommy?"

Joe yipped her agreement, bouncing around Jane's feet and Jane laughed at the little dog's antics.

"Let me put my stuff down and get your leash, you nut!" Tripping over the dog, Jane lowered her workout bag onto the couch as she heard her phone ring. The ringing sound set Joe off again and she attacked her mommy with yips and licks, knocking her back onto the couch. Trying to fend off the attacking dog with one hand, Jane pulled out her phone.

"Rizzoli. Oh hey, what's up Frost? I just got home... A mugging? Can't you take..."

Jane dropped the phone and pushed Joe off her, stumbling to the bedroom. Joe wined and looked after her master with sad eyes.

"Jane, Jane, are you there?" Frost's voice came over the phone. "I thought you should be the first to know..."

Jane knelt the floor next to her bed, doing something she hadn't done in a long time. Praying. It wasn't true, it couldn't be true.

She idly wondered why she wasn't crying. There was... nothing. Maura was dead and so Jane was dead too, a shell with no soul.

Jane's breath caught in her throat as she heard what Barry had said repeated in her head. Maura was dead. Killed in a goddamn mugging.

As the shock subsided she finally felt something, a horrible, cold wind that rose from the bottom of her stomach, a beast that could not be contained. It tore itself from her throat, a horrible sound, more of a wail than any known word.

Jane woke up with the scream still on her lips and Jo licking her face.

Jane staggered to the bathroom and wretched into the toilet. She hadn't slept well since Maura had learned that Paddy Doyle was her biological father, a little more than a week ago. The nightmares were so real...it had gotten to the point that she was looking over her shoulder even when she was awake. She felt like she was being chased all the time, and had started snapping at Korsak and Frost over the smallest things. Every look, every word Cavanaugh said to her carried hidden meanings, and she had even been avoiding Maura. She wasn't sure how many times she could look in Maura's open face and know that she had blatantly lied to her. If she ever found out...well, actually Jane wasn't sure what Maura would do. Probably be understanding about it and make Jane feel like even more of an asshole.

A knock at the door woke Jane from her self-pity and she staggered to the door, toothbrush in mouth.

"Whast? Oh" She hurriedly hid the toothbrush behind her back and tried to look somewhat normal. "Shit. What are you doing here so early."

Maura looked at her strangely. "Language, Jane. And we were supposed to go to the station early this morning to work out."

Damn. Jane had completely forgotten.

"Are you well? I feel like I haven't seen you all week, and you look terrible! You have periorbital circles and you obviously haven't been sleeping. You've been avoiding Barry and Vince, and you only come down to autopsy if you have a question about a case."

Jane smiled "That's the only time I'm supposed to be there, Maura."

"But it's out of character. Something's obviously bothering you Jane. Why don't we stay here and we can talk about it?"

"No! No. I'm okay Maura. I guess I'm still a little shook up over that whole Doyle/O'Rourke thing. I'll get over it."

"Are you sure Jane?"

"Yeah, no problem. Let's just go workout, okay?"

Maura nodded her agreement. Perhaps the ensuing endorphin release would make Jane more amenable to discussion.

Ten minutes into her workout, and Jane was feeling a lot better. _And that has nothing to do with Maura's workout clothes or her cleavage or the way that one bead of sweat rolled slowly from the soft, soft skin below her ear, down her neck, over a very tasty looking collar bone, before disappearing undernea-_

"Jane?"

"What? OW!" Jane jumped off the machine as one of the hand-rests smacked her in the face.

"Jane! Are you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm fine... what were you saying?"

"I was just trying to get your attention. You were staring off into space..." Suddenly Maura's face brightened up and she glanced to her left. "You were checking out that guy over there, weren't you?"

_Sure, let's go with that. Totally straight Jane Rizzoli here._

"Maura! No, I was... making sure Frankie wasn't going to hurt himself trying to show off again." Jane kept her eyes fixed in front of her. If she knew Maura, there was no way she was going to let their conversation from earlier drop. Jane was never going to tell her about calling Doyle, but if she didn't at least _try_ to treat Maura normally she would never give up. Dangling a puzzle like that in front of Maura and was like putting meat in front of a starving pit bull, and there was no way Jane would come out of that experience unscathed_.__ Okay. It's fine. She's your best friend – you can make smalltalk!_

"Maura, I..." _Hey, wait a second..._Maura was staring at the stupid muscle-head from earlier! She was practically drooling over him! _Probably uses steroids,_ Jane thought bitterly.

"Maura," Jane hissed, "You're staring at Chuck's biceps. Stop it!" Was that kind of over-jacked idiot what she went for? Jane could practically feel steam coming out of her ears. _When did I become so jealous? Oh yeah, about two minutes ago when I was practically undressing her in my mind._

"I am. Females are wired to be attracted to the strongest, most dominant male. It's natural selection at work."

Jane grimaced. Only Maura could say something like that so nonchalantly._ I have muscles. And abs. Great abs! And I don't look like every vein on my body would burst if I stood up! _"You're making me uncomfortable. Stop."

"What? I'm just appreciating his sternocleidomastoid." Maura turned to smile at Chuck "Excuse me. You have beautifully developed musculature." She turned back to Jane. "What, am I embarrassing you?"

"No, not at all." Jane huffed. "Why don't you tell him he's got a nice ass, too?"

"And a wonderfully proportioned gluteus maximus."

Jane growled low in her throat. She should really know better than to use sarcasm with Maura around. "I am never working out with you again." _Although_, Jane though philosophically, _I've seen Maura get that same dreamy look over a new pair of shoes. _She smiled to herself. _And Chuck has a boyfriend._

_Un-fucking-belivable_ Jane thought as she drove towards the crime scene. _Could this day get any worse! _Waking up from a nightmare, then going out for a morning workout with her best friend, who she just happened to be secretly in love with. _Although the actual working out part hadn't been that bad. At least not until Maura made it abundantly clear that her type does not include anyone whose IQ is larger than their arm size. 'Natural selection'. Seriously! How could someone so smart be so dumb. _And if that wasn't bad enough, now Tommy was getting out of prison early. And her parents were throwing a surprise party. In a bar. _Fuck_.

It hadn't always been like that. When they were kids, Tommy would always follow her around, trying to be just like his big sister. Raising three kids on a plumber's salary wasn't easy, so it had fallen to Jane and Frankie to teach Tommy the important things in life. She remembered teaching him to throw for the first time, showing him how to put his fingers on the seams of the baseball just so, telling him it was the special Rizzoli-only pitch. Holding him on her shoulder so he could dunk the basketball in the kids-size hoop their dad had installed in the driveway. Ganging up to play pranks on Frankie every year on April Fool's Day. The three of them had been inseparable, and every kid knew that if you messed with one Rizzoli, you messed with all of them.

And then... Hell, Jane wasn't even sure when they had stated drifting apart. She had just joined the force, and was trying to get her own life in order, learning to deal with all the crazy shit that being a beat cop put you through. Frankie was in college, and Tommy... he just seemed to get lost and never find his way back. Even when they were all home together, it was like he was a ghost, there but not somehow. It wasn't until their Mom had called to tell her Tommy had wrapped his car around a pole while running from the cops for a DUI that she'd finally figured it out. That sweet, innocent little boy who'd followed her around like a puppy had grown up, and he was in serious trouble. Jane had tried everything she could to help him after that, staying up late nights with him playing chess, taking him to her friend's parties so he could learn to have fun responsibly, offering to pick him up, no questions asked, no matter what time. Anything he needed, she promised she would do for him, to protect her little brother.

Then there was the second DUI, and Tommy had completely disappeared. They didn't even see him until the hospital, after he hit the Father in the crosswalk. Three times the legal limit in the middle of the fucking day.

Jane hadn't even gone to the trial after that. It hurt too much, and hell, if Tommy wanted to drink himself to death or spend the rest of his life in jail, nothing Jane said was going to stop that. She'd seen enough addicts by then to know that the only way an addict could stop was if they wanted to, and she'd seen it in his eyes that day at the hospital. She couldn't stop Tommy from being who he was. A screw-up, the same as every strung-out junky she saw on the streets, coming back to the people they loved only to steal or swindle money for more drugs. Jane had sworn to herself Tommy was never going to do that to her again.

And now their parents were throwing him a surprise party, like he'd just been away at summer camp. Jane knew she would probably end up going, if only to make sure Tommy didn't do anything stupid.

Just as soon as she dealt with the murder of a cop.

Pulling up a the crime scene, Jane rested her head for a moment on the steering wheel. _Could this day get any worse?_ She whispered a silent prayer for strength. _I swear, if I live through today, I'm finding the nearest church and lighting every one of those damn candles._

"You know, people lock their keys in their car, or sprain their ankle; it usually indicates that something significant is bothering them."

_Thank you, Captain Obvious_ Jane thought, forcing down the automatic sarcasm. _Maura is your friend and she is just trying to help_. "Well, a cop was murdered."

"Yeah, but that – that's not why you're salting your coffee."

Jane felt like she was spinning an imaginary wheel. Was it time for the 'I'm in love with you' confession, the 'I had a man killed to protect you' conversation, or the classic 'My brother is an asshole.' _ Better go with the brother_. She sighed.

"'s my brother, Tommy." To Jane's relief, Maura went with the admission.

"I always wondered about him."

"Well, Frankie and I became cops and Tommy went to prison for hitting a priest in a crosswalk. It was his third strike for driving under the influence."

"Your poor parents."

"Well, you know, and they keep saying that if the priest that he hit has forgiven him then why can't we... this isn't about forgiveness. Tommy is really troubled, and the more they deny it, the more he screws-up."

Maura looked down and put a hand on Jane's arm. "You really care about him..."

"I just think that we need to face reality. Tommy needs help; this isn't like he broke his leg and it'll heal."

"I'm really sorry."

Damn. Why did Maura have to be so understanding about all of this? "Thank you." Jane grabbed the coffee. "Don't worry about it, we've got too much to do today to worry about Tommy." She couldn't take too much of this emotional stuff. After years in a male-dominated police bullpen, talking about feelings like this made her a little jumpy. She supposed that she'd forgotten what it was like to really talk to someone about this, especially to someone like Maura. Someone who mattered.

As they got into their separate elevators, Maura called out to her.

"Jane!"

"Yeah?"

"If you want to talk about your brother, or just avoid the subject...I'm here."

Jane's face softened. She knew she looked like a sad puppy right now, but she couldn't help it. Sometimes, in moments like these, the love she held in her heart for Maura slipped lose from the chains she kept it in and overwhelmed her. Every beat of her heart called out for its' love, and she ached to run over, stop the elevator, and kiss Maura senseless like every overacted scene in every romantic comedy. Ever. It was almost painful. With effort she drew herself back, focusing on the task at hand. Later. She could deal with these feelings later. She smiled at Maura. "I know."

_Shit shit bitch motherfucker. _Jane felt that all these words were warranted as she carefully inched back to the hallway. After all, she was locked down in the station of all places with no gun and in charged of a panicking, crack-addicted teenager. _Dear God, if you're almost killing me so I can light those damn candles, this is totally not cool. Just remember I have to actually live through this to light them. _She stepped through the exit door to the stairwell and bolted upright as she saw a man searching the dead body of the young girl. She expected to feel a bullet pass through her body next, and tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. _I told her I'd protect her._ She heard the gunshot and almost patted her body down in disbelief as the bad guy dropped in front of her. Marino hobbled down the stairs. _What the fuck is going on here?Don't they know bad guys aren't supposed to be in the police station unless they're in handcuffs?_ Suddenly she heard her name. "Janey?"

"Frankie" _Oh god, oh god, Frankie was shot. _He had his vest on, sure, but Jane was having trouble getting over the fact that Frankie, her little brother, had been shot.

Carefully Jane and Marino lifted Frankie up and helped him down to the morgue. With any luck, Maura would be there and could help. Jane refused to think about what might have happened if those gunmen had found Maura.

She heard Maura's voice and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. After all this divine communication today, she really should go to a service or two. First things first, though.

Maura looked at Frankie in panic. "Oh my god, what happened?"

Jane took a deep breath "He's been hit twice."

"It's alright, my vest stopped it." Frankie waved Maura off.

"Okay, get him up here."

"The table? Really, already, the dead person table?"

Jane suppressed a smile. If Frankie was still cracking jokes it couldn't be too bad.

"I think I just got the wind knocked out of me, that's all."

Jane winced at the purple and blue mess on his side. "You sure did." She glanced up at Maura, who was checking Frankie out. "What are you hearing?"

Maura gave Jane a look. A very, very bad look. She motioned for Jane to come over; Frankie didn't need to hear this just yet.

"It's bad, isn't it?"

"Massive blunt force trauma caused internal bleeding. It's worse than bad."

Things were not good. She could tell the pressure was taking it's toll on Maura, and Marino wasn't exactly being a lot of help.

"I need an MRI or a CT scan, an X-Ray machine... something to check his internal injuries."

Suddenly Frankie started choking. Maura's face paled as she reached down to take his pulse.

"I was afraid of that."

Jane felt like banging her head against the wall. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse...

"What's wrong?"

"Tension pneumothorax."

Jane was really going to kill whoever came up with these names.

"He's having trouble breathing, do something."

Maura was practically wringing her hands at this point. "I'm a pathologist, not a surgeon Jane. I could make it worse."

No. Jane was not going to let Frankie die because Maura was afraid to take chances. She was going to find out for herself. She pulled one of Maura's medical dictionaries off her desk and began flipping through it.

"What is it again? Say it again."

"Te-Tension pneumothorax. What are you doing?"

"Tension pneumothorax results in death if... if not treated immediately."

"Jane. I'm just guessing, okay? I would need to confirm it-"

"You don't have time to confirm it! Your guess is better than most doctor's!"

"I could be wrong."

Jane kept reading. "...Aggressively managed with needle decompression to chest." Why the hell was Maura stalling?

"I've never done it."

Jane tried to calm herself. She loved Maura, she really did, but right now... it was obvious she was going to have to take charge of the situation and force Maura to do it.

"Wha – geeze, Maura, get a needle and do it! Do it now!" _My brother is dying. Maura, please. You can do this._

"Alright. Get alcohol and a cotton ball an-and tape."

Jane ran to collect the items. "Ok, I got it."

Jane could hear Frankie's labored breaths as Maura prepared the decompression. She was not going to lose another brother, dammit!

"Hey there...hey buddy, you're gonna be okay. You're alright.

Maura's voice seemed to be drifting into Jane's consciousness from a distance. "We have to get him to a hospital...He needs surgery...now." Jane didn't have to hear everything she and Morino said to know that they were screwed. She just kept holding onto Frankie's hand. Somehow, someway, she would get them out of this.

Suddenly she recoiled as Frankie started spitting blood. She hurried to turn him on his side as gunshots sounded in the distance. Fleetingly, she wondered who they were shooting at.

"Please don't let him die Maura, please." she begged. _I can't do this alone, please. _"We can't get him out of here, okay? What can you do, right now, that will help him?"

Maura looked in her eyes and Jane could see that she was completely panicked and not thinking clearly.

"I-I don't know what more I can do with what I have!" Maura was nearly crying.

Jane looked at her and spoke in deep, slow tones. Calming Maura down and appealing to her rational mind was the only way they were going to get out of there alive. "He is going to die. Right here, right on this table if you don't do something. Think!"

She held her breath as Maura seemed to calm herself. "Okay. Okay."

"You're the only one who can save him."

Maura gathered up the alcohol, cotton, tape and some plastic tubing. She looked at Jane seriously.

"This is a hospital procedure."

"Okay. Just do it."

"I don't have anesthetic."

Jane looked at her reassuringly. "It's okay Maura. Just do the best you can, okay?"

Maura smiled at her in thanks before instructing her to hold Frankie down so she could drain the blood from his lungs.

Jane was relieved when Frankie passed out from the pain. As soon as she had decided that all divine beings were fucking idiots who just liked to play around with perfectly nice mortal lives, she heard a voice on the walkie.

"Korsak, is that you?"

"Jane, where are you?"

"We're in the autopsy room. We've got at least two dead, two wounded. Morino's got a gunshot wound to the thigh, Frankie took two to the chest. He's hurt real bad."

"Can you hold them off?"

"Not for long. They're looking for something...

And now she was being forced up the stairs of the station by a psycho dirty cop. Really, she almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. TV crime writers couldn't even come up with this kind of shit.

"So why'd you do it, Moreno? The money?"

He laughed. "Pretty much. Hell of a lot more than I was ever making on the force, and if you guys hadn't come snooping around nobody would have gotten hurt. Take it easy when we get inside and they'll probably even be able to save your brother."

"You bastard! What about the people those drugs destroy. You've been a cop, you know what you're doing to people."

"You're right, Jane. I've seen them. Filthy crack addicts, they'd offer you anything for another hit. Those aren't people anymore. I'm doing them a favor by helping them kill themselves faster. Anyone stupid enough to get involved with that shit deserves what they get." He shoved her forward into the daylight. "Now play nice Janey."

She didn't know if it was the adrenaline or pure fear fucking with her brain, but everything seemed to slow down and become clear. Even as she was yelling for the guys to shoot, she felt... light, removed from the scene. This was it. This was what her life was leading to. Maybe God was giving her a chance at redemption after all. Everything would be tied up so neatly. She would never need to worry about Paddy Doyle, about choosing between Maura and her job. They would get Frankie to a hospital. She could save them all. No more pain, no more loneliness, no more longing. As she pulled Moreno's gun down and pulled the trigger she felt... free.

And as she lost touch with her body and felt herself slipping away, she saw a beautiful face framed with golden hair...it seemed so familiar. Like something from a magical dream. She felt the weight of hands caressing her cheek and an musical voice calling her name. She smiled.

Surely, surely this was heaven.

Reviews bring Jane back faster :)


	3. Chapter 3

**I still have a couple of finals to prepare for, but I wanted to get a little something up for all my adoring fans before I go MIA again.**

"Jane!"

…

"Jane!"

..._Maura?..._

"...stop the bleeding...internal...damn ambulance"

..._language, Maura..._ Jane tried to chuckle but she wasn't sure her vocal chords were obeying. There was a pressure on her chest, too, and it was making it hard to breathe. People were yelling all around her, and somewhere in the background she heard a siren. She wished they would all be quiet, it was giving her a headache.

By the time they lifted her into the ambulance she could feel a little more – most of it pain. All this time as a cop, and she'd never been shot. Well, with a vest a couple of times, but never...never for real. _Shit. _She knew it was going to hurt like hell once the shock wore off.

Someone pressed her hand as the ambulance hit a pothole and she winced.

"Maura?"

Dammit. Her lips definitely weren't working. She tried wetting them with her tongue.

"Maura?" She croaked. There. That was better.

"Jane? Shhh, honey, don't try to talk. Just relax. We're on the way to the hospital. You're going to be okay."

_Uh-oh_. That was the same tone Maura had used with Frankie in Autopsy. _Speaking of..._

"-kie?"

"He's in another ambulance. They're taking you both to the same hospital."

Jane tried to nod. She was tired, and Maura would take care of her.

It was dark when she next woke up. Her whole body...well, it didn't exactly hurt, but she _had_ been shot in the line of duty and they gave you the good drugs for that. Experimentally, she tried to wiggle her toes. They still worked, much to her relief, although it kinda felt like she was swimming through mud. Heavy and floating at the same time.

Jane caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head as much as she could. Maura was curled up in a chair next to the bed. Jane felt her heart swell at the thought that Maura cared enough to stay with her in the hospital. _And sleep in wrinkled clothes. She looks so cute._ Maura had her head propped up on one small hand, golden hair falling across her sleeping face. A small curl waved gently as she breathed, and Jane had the sudden urge to tuck it behind her ear. She had taken her heels off and her feet were folded delicately under her body. Jane winced as she realized Maura's dress was stained with her blood.

"Good to see you alive, Detective." A familiar voice cut through the silence. Jane whipped her head toward the door - "Ow!" _Bad idea_ – where Paddy Doyle stood silhouetted in the doorway.

"What...?" Her mouth was too dry, and her tongue felt heavy.

"What am I doing here? You helped me save my daughter's life! I'd feel bad if you died before I had a chance to thank you."

"Didn't do it for you."  
>"Didn't say you did." Doyle flicked his eyes over Maura's sleeping face. "She's an amazing person, isn't she? Just like her mother that way. She used to say there was beauty in everything. Even saw some in me, I think." He paused, lost in long-ago memories. "Sometimes she made me see it too." His determined gaze focused back on Jane's face. "Maura's been alone a long time. Two sets of parents, both abandoning her...No way that doesn't hurt her. I like you detective. Don't let her down."<p>

Jane was silent for a moment.

"Hey, Doyle."

"Yeah?"

"You Catholic?"

He nodded.

"You can thank me by doing me a favor. The first church you see, go inside and light every single candle for me. I kinda have a promise to keep."

Doyle chuckled. "I'll see what I can do."

Jane wondered what kind of meds they'd put her on as Doyle's figure disappeared down the hallway.

"Ma! What the hell!"

"Janie! Is that any way to talk to your mother? I just thought it'd help you feel more at home. You used to love Mr. Ribbit."

"I was six! You may not have noticed, but I've grown since then. I am a mature, responsible adult." Jane turned a wild-eyed gaze on Maura, who was watching yet another mother-daughter fight with great amusement. "Not a word, Maura."

"What's wrong, 'Janie'? I think he's kind of cute." Maura picked up the small stuffed frog over in her hands. "Did you know that frogs can sense changes in barometric pressure? They tend to call more often before a rain storm, and aboriginal tribes all over the world interpreted this ability as the frogs actually calling the rain down from the sky."

"Maura..." Jane growled. Angela and Maura had spent the past several days decorating her hospital room with useless knickknacks. Angela's natural smothering instincts were buoyed by Maura's constant references to studies indicating that familiar surroundings helped the healing process. If Jane were honest with herself, her mother was also being encouraged by the fact that Jane could never refuse Maura anything.

It had been five days since Jane had woken up in the hazy hospital twilight. A bit of furtive investigating had assured her that she hadn't had any special visitors. Ma and Pa, Maura, Korsak and Frost once in awhile. Even Frankie had been able to stop by after his surgery. The first few days had been fuzzy anyway, a blur she'd mostly slept through thanks to the cocktail of medications being pumped through her body. She'd managed to convince herself the that a wanted man did not sneak his way into the hospital in the middle of the night just to make sure she wasn't dead yet. Well, that and to leave cryptic messages about her best friend.

_Maura_. Despite the beady frog eyes staring up from her blanket, Jane couldn't help but smile. During that time when she'd sometimes seemed more dead than alive, Maura had been there every time she woke up. Every time she went in to surgery and every time she came out again, Maura was there with a warm smile. She always found a way to reassure Jane that she was there for her, no matter what. Usually it wasn't even verbal; Maura would just hold her hand right before they came to take her away, or stroke her hair back when she was too weak to do it herself. If Jane weren't already head over heels for the doctor, she would be now with all the loving care she'd received. Even when the whole Rizzoli family was there and Jane was threatening to block them from the visitors list, Maura hadn't left her. Oh sure, now that Jane wasn't in any kind of near death situation Maura went home, did her job. Jane had insisted, in fact, and Maura had hinted that it was hard to find a sitter for her turtle. _Tortoise_.But she'd also shown up when Ma had held an unofficial gnocchi night for her two children in the hospital.

Jane chuckled.

"Oh, now what's so funny Ms. Smarty-pants?" Angela asked.

"Just thought of that one time Maura almost got thrown out of the hospital."

Angela turned to face Maura, wide-eyed. "What happened?"

"Well-" Maura started to reply, but Jane cut her off.

"She kept questioning the doctors orders on my chart and finally the head nurse got so fed up with it, she threatened to kick Maura out if she asked her one more question. Then – you'll love this, Ma – Maura turns to her with a straight face and asks 'Why?' It was great, I've never seen somebody turn so many different shades of purple. I had to remind Nurse Ratched that I was a hero cop just so she wouldn't try to take Maura out single-handed!"

"Jane!" Maura laughed. "She wasn't going to 'throw me out'. We were simply having a professional discussion regarding disparate medical techniques."

"Maybe _you_ were. She looked like you'd broken into her house and peed on her couch." That earned her a slap on her arm from her mom. "Jeez, Ma! I think I liked you better when I was in a coma!"

"Is that anyway to talk with Maura here?" She turned to the doctor in question. "Honestly, I don't know how you can put up with my daughter sometimes. I promise I raised her better than that."

"Maura likes me just fine the way I am, don't you?"

Maura smiled. "Don't worry Angela, she's trainable. Just last week she put her beer on a coaster and I didn't have to say anything."

Jane pouted. "Traitors. At least Frankie loves me. See if I get myself shot for either of you." Maura gripped the blanket tightly in her hand and her mother glared at her. "What? What'd I do?"

Angela just glanced at Maura and mumbled some excuse about calling Frank, retreating to the hall.

Maura stared down at the blanket, unconsciously toying with a ring on one hand.

"It's what I said, right? About shooting myself. I'm sorry about that, Maur, it was stupid. It's just, you know, gotta laugh to keep from crying right?" Jane dipped her head, trying to see Maura's face. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm a jackass."

Maura took a cautious breath. "No, Jane, I know you like to redirect your feelings with humor. And you were the one who got shot, you should be allowed to deal with that in a way that makes you comfortable." Her hands were fluttering over the blanket now, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. "But you weren't there watching. I – I saw it. You were bleeding to death on the concrete and I just froze up, I couldn't do anything. There was so much blood, Jane." A tear slipped down her face. "So, so much blood and you were dying and I couldn't help you and the ambulances were so far away."

Jane sat up and pulled Maura into a hug. Crying women terrified her, especially a crying Maura. She didn't know how to help so she just stayed silent until Maura finished.

"I know you do what you have to for the job, Jane. I really do. But this was the first time I had to be there when it happened." Maura settled herself in Jane's arms, breathing deeply to calm herself. She always felt safe with Jane, and Jane was here, alive, comforting her. "I was so afraid I was going to lose you."

_'Don't let her down.'_ Doyle's words, real or imagined, flashed across Jane's mind. "But you didn't. And you never will. I'm like a bad penny, you can't get rid of me."

Maura laughed lightly "You're mixing your idioms, Jane."

"And I have no idea what you just said. I can't promise I'll never say or do something stupid again, but I promise not do the same stupid thing twice."

Maura sighed, resting her head against Jane's shoulder and closing her eyes. "I love you, Jane..." She felt Jane tense slightly and continued. "You're my best friend." Jane stared at the wall above Maura's head, pain clenching at her heart. _And that's all you'll ever be. But it's enough. It has to be enough_.

"I love you too, Maura."

_I just wish I could tell you how much._


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Finals went well and I can't wait to get going on this story! I have big thing planned folks, big things. But until then, here's some expositionary fluff.

* * *

><p>Every day, Jane daydreamed about escaping the hospital. Usually in some crazy, over-the-top, superhero way involving a daring daylight raid on the cafeteria. She smiled; at least a healthy imaginary life kept her from going totally insane in this place. Jane had almost drifted off to sleep when Maura walked in and interrupted her latest caper.<p>

"Jane?"

"Mph."

Maura smiled lovingly as Jane huddled under the blankets, even though she was obviously trying to avoid talking to her.

"You need to get up, Jane. You're completely messing up your circadian rhythms."

Jane growled and turned to face Maura. "Someday, I will understand one of those big words you use. And if I find out you've been making fun of me all this time, I'm going to be really pissed."

Maura let out a slight huff. "It's your body's natural clock, responsible for many internal processes. Did the nurse bring you your medications yet? You're not usually this grumpy."

"I'm allowed. I was shot."

"Technically, you shot yourself..."

"Was there a reason you came by or did you just miss my winning personality?"

"I don't know if I want to tell you now." Maura teased "Since you're being so rude."

"Maur-a!" Jane whined. Maura laughed at her friend's antics. "Fine, Jane. Your mother and I were just talking with your doctor. If you will promise to behave yourself, they're going to release you tomorrow."

"Yes! Finally! Even the food in my dreams was starting to taste like hospital food."

Maura hesitated a moment, then put her hand on Jane's shoulder. "Jane..." The force of Jane's smile turned towards her made her breath catch. "What is it Maura?"

"I-I think you should stay with me for a few days, maybe a week."

"What? Why? All I've been able to think about for since I got here is wearing my own clothes and sleeping in my own bed!"

"I know Jane, but your apartment isn't on the ground floor and climbing stairs will aggravate your wound and slow the healing process. Your parents are already taking care of Jo and you know they love her." _Please let me take care of you, _she didn't say.

Jane was about to reply when the little devil on her should finally woke up and took notice_. _And it thought that spending more time with and being taken care of by Maura sounded like just about the best deal ever. Certainly better than wallowing in self-pity at her own apartment. Jane agreed. _And her tv is soo much nicer than mine. _Jane made the mistake of looking at Maura's pleading face and knew she would do whatever the M.E. asked of her. _Dammit, I am so whipped and we're not even dating. Not cool._

"Fine, Maura, if it'll make you feel better." _At least Ma won't be able to bother me there. Why did I think it was a good idea to give her a key to my apartment?_

Maura beamed when Jane gave in without a fight. Usually it was harder to get Jane to let someone take care of her than to get an invitation to the White House.

"I need to leave and get everything ready. Is it okay if I cut short my visit today?"

"If you have to. My rhythms will just have to suffer another day."

Maura cast her a disapproving look. "I brought you books and crossword puzzles to do while you're in bed. Keeping your brain active is very important."

"It is active! My dreams are very active"

Maura was half out the door, but paused to raise a questioning eyebrow.

"Not like that!" Jane yelled after her.

* * *

><p>The next day Maura walked in to Jane's room to find an exasperated nurse trying to force Jane into a wheelchair so she could leave the hospital.<p>

"I am not being wheeled outta here when I can walk around for the first time in weeks!"

"Officer Rizzoli, it's hospital policy, please -"

"I thought you were tired of terrorizing the nurses by now, Jane." Maura commented.

Jane grinned. "Some things just never get old."

"I think the entire hospital is aware of your feelings on the matter by now. Ready to go?"

Jane shrugged. "In the chair?"

"You might as well. Otherwise I'm just going to leave you here."

Jane looked at the chair, at the nurse, and at Maura's unreadable face. Sensing she was on the losing side of this equation, she sat down with a huff. "Let's get this over with." The nurse wheeled her out of the room and down the hall, Maura following behind.

* * *

><p>"Your mother helped me pack some of your clothes. I brought the Red Sox jersey you like." Maura opened the door to the guest bedroom, showing Jane where all of her things had been laid out in the closet. It really was a nice room, done in soothing blues and greens. <em>Well, it is Maura's<em>, Jane thought, _she always has the best of everything, even in the guest room_. "Don't worry Maura. I've been here before, I know the layout. I'll probably just stay in bed and sleep the next week anyway. You won't be able to tell me and Bass apart."

"Bass is very active for a tortoise."

"Sure he is."

Maura pulled back the sheets on the bed and patted the mattress. "Go ahead and lie down. I'll go get your medication."

Jane flinched but slipped between the covers. She hated feeling helpless like this, but if she were being honest, she was getting a little light-headed and it was either sit down or fall down. The seemed like the least embarrassing option.

Maura came back with a glass of water and a handful of pills and was surprised when Jane took them without question. Surprised and worried. Jane put up a fuss about everything. It was trying at times, but it was one of the things that came with being Jane's friend. Jane's acceptance of her limitations, even in a small way, reminded Maura of how many things had changed in the split-second when Jane pulled that trigger.

Jane's voice shook Maura out of her reverie. "Maur? You ok?"

"I'm fine Jane. Would you like me to leave you alone? You could take a nap or just watch tv."

"Actually..." Jane looked down at her hands. "Would you just stay with me for awhile. I'll probably fall asleep soon and you can go, but I'd like the company.

Maura's gaze softened at the open, yearning look on her friend's face. She could never turn down a request like that. "Of course." She sat down opposite Jane, propping a few pillows against the headboard for back support and smoothing out her dress. To her surprise and delight, Jane scooted next to her and put her head on her shoulder. "What would you like to watch?"

Jane smiled up at her. "Got anything about turtles?"

Maura laughed lightly, a delicate sound that lingered in the air like music. "No, nothing with turtles. Tortoises, perhaps..."

"Nope, sorry, it's turtles or nothin'. I never liked those tortoises."

Maura clapped a hand over Jane's mouth. "Shhh, Jane! You'll hurt Bass' feeli-eek!" She looked at Jane in shock. "Did you just _lick_ me!"

Chocolate-brown eyes danced mischievously. "Maybe."

"I'm glad to see you're feeling well enough to take advantage of me in my own home."

Jane laid back against her pillow and snuggled into it. It smelled like Maura, and that made for a happy Jane. The pain-killers were starting to kick in and she was feeling a little loopy and tired. "Mmm, trust me Maura, you'd know it if I were taking advantage of you.

Maura blushed lightly. A change of subject was definitely in order. "Do you still want me to stay with you while you fall asleep?"

"Mmmhmmm..." Jane mumbled.

"Shouldn't take long." Maura ran her fingers through Jane's hair, smoothing out the tangled curls.

"Don't stop...feels good..."

Maura continued her ministrations long after her friend had fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>Jane awoke the next morning feeling better than she had since the shooting. <em>And that has nothing to do with the fact that you feel asleep with Maura's hands running through your hair.<em> Jane laughed at herself and chose to chalk her unusually good mood to finally being out of the hospital.

A breakfast tray was set up on the bedside table – oatmeal and orange juice with some muffin-looking things on the side. Maura had left a note on the tray.

_Jane,_

_I hope you feel better this morning. Eat your breakfast and then take the medicine, it's easier on your stomach that way. Make yourself at home, I'll be back later this evening. Try to get some exercise but don't overdo it. Remember, Bass is watching you._

_Maura_

Jane grinned at the last sentence, hoping she'd remember to tease Maura about it later. After breakfast and pills, she wandered into the living room, fully intending to camp out on the couch. Bass was in there, apparently sleeping by the sofa, although Jane couldn't really tell with him. At least he poked his head out when she shuffled over so she knew he was still alive.

"It's just you and me Bass. What d'ya wanna do today?" Bass looked up at her with an unblinking stare. "SportsCenter? Your right, that's always on."

When Maura opened the door to her house that evening, she wasn't sure what she would find. She'd already discovered the night before that Jane and pain medications was a heady combination, but everything looked intact. The lights were out, although she could hear the tv still on in the living room. When she entered the room she only just stifled a shriek. There was a..a.. collection of pillows and blankets in the middle of the room and two very guilty looking sets of eyes were peeking out at her from underneath them, if a tortoise could be said to look guilty. Jane pushed some pillows out of the way and stood up sheepishly. "Um, hi Maura."

"Wha-what?"

"Well... Bass and I decided to make a pillow fort."

"A pillow fort?"

Jane looked down at Bass, who had extracted himself for the fort and was inching towards his master in search of treats. "Uh-oh boy, I think we broke her."

Maura made the mistake of following Jane's eyes and felt a little faint. "What did you do to him?"

"Oh that? Well, we were watching tv and Bass seemed to like the Sox – he's got good taste, for a turtle-"

"Tortoise." Maura corrected weakly.

"Right, tortoise. So I borrowed some of your nail polish and dressed him up a little."

Maura found some room on the couch and set down heavily, her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking. Jane looked at her in alarm. Sure, it was a little messy in the room, but it couldn't be _that _bad, could it?

"Maur, I'm sorry, I should think before I do shit like this. I'll clean it up, don't worry." She sat down next to her friend on the couch and was about to pull her into a hug when Maura straightened up. She wasn't crying, she was nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Jane, you drew the Red Sox logo on Bass!"

"Um, yes?"

"What were you thinking?"

_Good question. I'm starting to get worried. What if I've finally driven Maura nuts?_ "Well, I-"

Still having trouble getting her laughter under control, Maura held her hand up. "On second thought, I don't even want to know. I'm going to go make us dinner. You clean up this... whatever it is."  
>Jane looked ruefully down at Bass. "Guess it's bath time for you, buddy."<p>

Maura smiled as she watched Jane clean the nail polish off Bass's shell, talking to the tortoise in reassuring tones. Bass himself seemed to listen to whatever it was Jane was talking about, nodding his head in response to pauses the conversation. Jane was very good with pets, even though she might protest. The aggressive detective side she showed the world was a part of her, and Maura valued all parts of her friend – Jane's passion for her job showed every minute she was on duty. But she loved that she got to see this playful side of her as well. Jane didn't let her walls down with very many people, and it made Maura feel very special. The thought that she almost lost this left her feeling cold and empty. She had never had a best friend before – losing Jane would be devastating.

Maura shook away her morbid thoughts. Jane was alive, in her living room and bonding with her tortoise. And she had dinner to prepare.

Jane insisted that she do the dishes since Maura had cooked, and Maura agreed on the condition that she first take her pills and let her change her bandage. The wound was healing nicely, although Jane was not pleased at the thought of adding another scar to her collection. Maura thought it would look lovely. Jane's scars were far from imperfections; they were a testament to Jane's strength and determination, medals of honor for a woman who was truly a hero. This angry red depression in her side would forever be a reminder of Jane's selfless bravery to save her brother. Maura had the sudden urge to press her lips to the healing flesh. It was beautiful.

Maura was curled up on the couch when Jane finished washing the dishes, reading a magazine. Jane paused a moment to take in the scene. She imagined that this was just a normal night – she hadn't been shot; instead, she allowed herself to think about what it would be like if she and Maura had a real, romantic relationship. They would come home together from work. Jane would play with Bass and take Jo for a walk while Maura fixed them something to eat. Jane would come in, maybe from an icy Boston winter, and sneak into the kitchen to interrupt her wife with a kiss. After dinner, Jane would clean up and then they would cuddle on the couch.

Jane smiled, lost in her dreamland and watching Maura read. Sensing Jane's eyes on her, Maura looked up and greeted Jane with a smile that sent tingles running through Jane's blood, until she remembered that this was the real world, where she didn't have a chance in hell of kissing her very beautiful, very straight best friend, in the kitchen or anywhere else. Suddenly the world seemed colder, and her side hurt more. It must have shown in her face, because Maura suddenly looked concerned.

"Jane? Are you feeling alright?"

Jane sat down on the couch next to Maura. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just hurt for a second."

Maura didn't look entirely convinced. "Come sit down. Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes mother."

Maura placed her hand on Jane's arm. "You shouldn't be so flippant about your health. It's important for you to take your medication at the correct times for maximum effect."

Jane smiled at her. "I know Maur. I promise, I'll be good and take my medicine. I'll even wash behind my ears."

Maura looked confused. "Why is that relevant?"

"Never mind. You have a billion channels on this thing, let's see if there's anything good on."

Jane settled quickly on the history channel. Historical facts for Maura and pretending to be Indiana Jones for Jane. Soon the hydrocodone was working its way through her system and making her drowsy. Maura noticed the change in her friend and pulled her Jane's head into her lap. When her sleepy companion tried to protest, she simply shushed her and rested her hand on Jane's side.

When the program was over, Maura gently shook Jane awake. "Jane, honey? Let's go to bed."

"M'kay."

Maura helped Jane off the couch and into the guest bedroom. Jane, who was more asleep than awake, barely noticed as she was guided under the sheets. Maura pulled the covers up around her friend and smiled as Jane instinctively snuggled into the pillow. Maura hesitated for a second, then bent down and pressed a soft kiss to Jane's forehead. "Goodnight Jane."

"..night..."

Maura softly padded out of the room and into her own bed, which suddenly seemed cold and lonely.

* * *

><p>"Maura..no, please..MAURA!" Jane shot up in bed, her whole body shaking and her pulse pounding. The sheets around her were tangled and stained with sweat. The nightmares...they'd begun as soon as the doctors had stopped giving her sleeping pills to help her through the pain of her wound. Different every night, somehow Maura was always in trouble, and Jane was always too late to save her. The memory of Maura's lifeless eyes gazing fixedly at Jane haunted her even as she woke up screaming.<p>

"Jane?" Maura's soft voice called to her from the hall. "Are you alright?"

"Maura?"

"I heard screaming. May I come in?"

"Of course, it's your house."

Maura pushed the door open and immediately rushed to Jane's side, feeling her forehead for any signs of fever.

"You're not hot...what happened?"

Jane tried to shrug and winced as her side protested. "Just a nightmare. I'm ok now."

Ignoring Jane's assurances, Maura slid into the other side of the bed. "What are you doing?" Jane asked.

"I'm staying here with you in case you have any more nightmares." Maura explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's not like we haven't slept together before."

That comment made Jane smirk. "Really? I know I wouldn't have forgotten that!" Maura gave her a light slap on the arm. "That wasn't what I meant."

"I know. Guess I'm still a little shook up."

Maura's expression softened. "You know I'm here if you want to talk about it, Jane."

Jane squirmed a bit. If there was anything she hated, it was talking about things that bothered her. "Maybe later. Let's just go to sleep." She settled back into the bed and tried to ignore the warmth of the woman she longed for just inches from her body.

Jane was awake long after Maura's gentle breaths had lengthened into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This is shorter than I originally wanted to post, but due to unforeseen circumstances I didn't have my laptop for about three weeks. I wanted to get something up if only to force me to work on the story.

* * *

><p>Jane blinked blearily at the clock face, which was inconveniently placed all the way across the room from her position on the couch. 4 AM and she couldn't sleep. Not even the steady drone of the home shopping network had been able to put her under. <em>Well, shit. <em>She knew what the problem was. _Maura_.

She'd ended up staying at Maura's house for almost two weeks. They'd fallen into a steady routine – Jane and Bass would lounge around during the day, and occasionally Maura's beautifully appointed home would fall prey to their combined imaginations. Or it could just have been the combined efforts of Jane with cabin fever and a handful of hydrocodone. She still wasn't sure if Bass had been 100% on the HMS Maura's Couch, a particularly inspired tale of a dashing pirate, her trusty first tortoise, and the daring rescue of a familiar blonde damsel-in-distress. She'd even made them pirate hats out of newspaper. It had been...nice. Maura would come home and tell her about the cases the others were working, and assure her that Korsak and Frost were lost without her. After dinner and dishes, Maura would usually read while Jane watched tv, or a game if there was anything interesting on. Occasionally Maura would even join her, and Jane would delightedly explain the intricacies of whatever sport had happened to catch her eye. Eventually Jane would get drowsy, and Maura would help her to bed, sliding in next to her in some unspoken agreement. Ever since the nightmare the first night, Maura had slept next to Jane, ready to help her friend through anything. But the nightmares hadn't returned. Jane slept soundly, waking up each morning finding that their bodies had intertwined during the night. They never spoke about that, either.

_And then reality decided to come back and kick my ass._ One night near the end Maura hadn't come home. She'd called from the morgue and said she had an offer for a dinner date, would Jane be ok by herself? Jane felt she had turned in the best supportive-friend performance in the history of ever. _I'd like to thank the Academy._.. _ "Of course I don't mind Maur. Go have fun, Bass and I will probably just watch tv anyway."_ _What was that? You're going off to fuck my surgeon? Yeah, that's fine. It's not like I made a surprise dinner for you or anything. _Sure, Jane had just thrown together a salad from Maura's refrigerator contents but she had been proud of herself, goddamit! She had cleaned up as much as she could with her limited range of motion, even googled correct place settings. She'd wanted to thank Maura for taking care of her – she knew she could be stubborn and, well, Maura had once described her as a 'squirmy six year-old.' The dinner had been a way to show her appreciation, and maybe gauge whether there was any hope for a romantic relationship with her beautiful best friend. _Well that's certainly not gonna happen anytime soon. Not when she's more interested in a dick of a surgeon who only refers to himself in the third person. Seriously, who does that!_ It hurt even more because she knew Maura didn't even care about the guy; she was just using him for releasing hormones or however she justified her meaningless relationships.

Jane had told Maura the next day that she thought it was time for her to go back to her apartment. She was healing quickly, and could take care of herself as long as she didn't strain her muscles too much. Her mom had volunteered to go grocery shopping for her once a week. _And I can't wait to see what she'll buy me_. Jane shuddered at the thought. But the truth was that once she'd been shaken out of the little domestic fantasy she'd created, Jane felt...uncomfortable living in Maura's home. It just hurt too much, to know what it was like to sleep night after night with the woman of her dreams, knowing she could never run her hands through that honeyed hair, or kiss those soft lips. It was torture, pure and simple, and Jane certainly wasn't going to stick around for more.

_Which would be a great idea if you could just figure out how to sleep without her_.

Great, even her subconscious was mocking her now. But damned if it wasn't true. After the first night alone, tossing and turning in a futile attempt to find some comfort, she hadn't even tried sleeping in bed. It was too cold, too lonely. Her body longed for Maura's warmth in a way her brain couldn't understand, let alone stop, and now that she had gotten used to it... she shook her head and sat up, padding into the kitchen. A dose of her pain meds chased liberally with the beer Maura had expressly forbade and maybe she could at least catch a couple hours' nap on the couch.

* * *

><p>Soon the days started to fade into the same, meaningless jumble as Jane took up permanent residence on the couch. Since Jo was still with her parents until the doctor said she was well enough to take her on regular walks, Jane had no incentive to budge outside, and an snoopy mother who obviously would have preferred her bedridden. TV shows became her clock. Angela came in during the middle of 'Storage Wars' and left during 'The Daily Show.' Korsak called during 'Toddlers in Tiaras', Frost during '1000 Ways to Die.' And Jane loved the horrified look on Maura's face when she entered Jane's apartment to the opening of 'The Jersey Shore'. Not that Jane actually watched it, but Maura's expression was too much to pass up.<p>

Jane remembered asking Maura once how long a human could go without sleep. Four days before the hallucinations start. _But what if the hallucinations had already started? _Alone in her apartment, Jane would often feel herself drifting. At first she had welcomed it, hoping that her body was finally tired enough to get some sleep without Maura there. But it was worse. In that twilight world she couldn't tell reality from dream; in that world there was only the repetition of pain. She would shoot up off the couch, staring at hands stained by her brother's blood, and be in the bathroom vomiting before she remembered Frankie was alive. The ones with Maura were the worst. Maura, propped up in the morgue with an icepick through her chest – a cruel reminder of what could happen at any time, if anyone found out about her birth father. Maura, lifeless on the ground because that sonofabitch Marino had taken her hostage instead of Jane. _Or, hell, just for fun, Maura with her arms around some jackoff who happened to be the lucky flavor of the week._ _'Cause it's not like that hurts any less._

A knock at the door interrupted Jane's self-pity. Grumbling, she forced herself off the couch to see who was disturbing her during the middle of the day.

"Maura?"

Maura Isles swept into the center of Jane's apartment. "Jane? Your mother wanted me to stop by and make sure you were okay. Apparently you've stopped answering her calls."

Jane huffed and stood aside to let Maura into her apartment.

"Tell her that it's not a national emergency just because I don't want to talk to her every five minutes."

"She only does it because she cares about you. I think it's sweet."

"Good. You take her."

Jane plopped back down on the couch and winced as her side protested the heavy movement.

"You should be more careful. If not of yourself, think of the furniture."

Jane blinked, confused. "The furniture?"

"Falling down on the couch like that weakens the integrity of the structure, especially in more inexpensive pieces. Sitting down naturally will prolong its lifespan."

Jane simply stared at Maura, considering her next comment. "Is there anything you don't know?"

Maura looked at Jane, startled. "Of course there is. Remember the softball game? I thought you were going to have a heart attack when you saw my swing."

_Swing, nothing, I was going to have a heart attack as soon as I saw you in that skintight uniform. _"And you hit a home-run on your first at-bat. Beginner's luck?"

Maura winked at her. "A lady never tells." She disappeared into Jane's kitchen. "I brought dinner."

"Is it a salad?"

"Don't worry, Jane. I took pity on you today and brought 'real food'."

Jane groaned and pushed herself up off the couch. "I suppose a cheeseburger is still out of the question?"

Maura smiled indulgently. "Soon, Jane. I brought salmon steaks, a side salad with spinach, mandarin oranges and pine nuts."

"Sounds...wonderful."

"The Omega-3 fatty acids in the salmon will help with the inflammation, and there's vitamin A in the spinach to help your body produce new white blood cells, and vit-" She was cut off when Jane placed a hand over her mouth. Maura's eyes widened as her breath caught and she had a disturbing urge to bring her tongue out to touch the fingers inadvertently caressing her lips.

Jane smiled at her softly, removing her hand. "I get it, Google. The food's good for me. Now let's eat, I'm starving."

They chatted about nonsense as they ate, Maura carefully avoiding any topic that could set off Jane's volatile temper. She'd noticed that Jane had an even shorter fuse these days, and the most offhand comment could cause her to shut down completely. After several weeks of being off work, Maura surmised that is was only natural that Jane would feel somewhat...powerless about her condition.

Maura moved to collect the dinner plates, but Jane's hand on her arm stilled her. "Let me do that, Maur. I'm still good for some things."

_Oh Jane_. "I have a special treat for us tonight." Maura blocked Jane's view with her body as she took something out of the refrigerator and hid it behind her back as she turned. "But you have to say please."

"Mauuraa.."

"Say it, Jane."

A mischievous light came on in Jane's eyes as she slowly approached Maura, backing the doctor up against the refrigerator. Placing one hand against the cool metal, she ran the other slowly down the blonde's arm and leaned in close to her ear. "Please, Maura?" she breathed.

Maura's body went rigid as the combination of Jane's words and feather-light touches sent flames racing along her body. She wasn't a person normally given to hyperbole, but now she thought there might be something to it. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded, sending blood to flush her face and some decidedly more... southern parts. _Arousal. Jane is making me aroused._

Taking advantage of Maura's temporary distraction, Jane made a grab at the container hidden behind her back. "Chocolate mousse! I knew there was a reason you were my best friend." _Yes Jane. Best friend. So stop flirting with her! That obviously wasn't a section covered in etiquette classes. Wonder if she's going to slap me when she comes out of shock?_

Shaking off the lingering feelings and categorizing them for further review later, Maura chuckled lightly at her friends' child-like glee at the prospect of her favorite dessert. Then she remembered something she'd noticed in the refrigerator.

"Jane?"

"Mmhmm?" Jane was intent on the container of mousse as she retrieved two spoons from a drawer.

"Why is there beer in your refrigerator? You know drinking alcohol is detrimental to your recovery, especially with the pain medications you've been prescribed."

"Aw, that's only if you're driving or doing something important. Nobody's gonna care if I have a beer and fall asleep on the couch."

"I care, Jane. Your mother cares. Frankie cares. Frost and Korsak care."

Jane laughed. "Ok, ok, I get the picture. No beer for me until you say so. I swear, you're worse than mom sometimes."

"And you're the reason I only operate on dead people."

"Why Dr. Isles, was that a joke?"

"Yes, Detective, I believe that was the thing that is colloquially referred to as 'a joke.'"

Jane laughed. "Fine. Then come over here and sit down before I finish your half of the mousse."

Maura moved to sit down, but paused a moment as she remembered something. "It's getting late. You should take your pills while you have a full stomach." Angela had warned her that Jane might not be taking her medications and had asked Maura to make sure she was following doctor's orders. If Jane was drinking beer instead, her mother's fears might be well founded.

Jane shrugged. "Top cabinet, right of the sink. Could you bring me some water, too?"

"Hmm. You were walking just fine earlier..." Maura gently teased as she filled a glass and opened the bottle of pills. "You're almost out of hydrocodone, Jane" Surprise and concern colored her voice.

"Is that bad?"

"This prescription should have lasted you almost six weeks. It's barely been four. How often are you taking them?"

Jane ducked her head uncomfortably. In truth, she hadn't really been keeping up. "I just take two whenever I feel pain. That's all it says on the bottle – like it says, I don't ever go over eight pills a day."

"You shouldn't still be in that amount of pain. Your prescription was based on the assumption that your pain would gradually receded as your wounds healed. If you want, I'm sure Dr. Slucky wouldn't mind taking a look-"

Jane felt the mention of the surgeon's name like a punch in the stomach. Somehow, Maura had a way of making her forget that the outside world existed. Her brain was so tired, she'd forgotten about Maura's fuck-of-the-week. And the fact that he was her fucking doctor. And the fact that Maura was straight and, even if she weren't, would have no interest in the daughter of a plumber. Sure, they made good friends, but on dates? Meeting the parents? Jane would just embarrass herself. Again. _Fuck the fish knife. Fuck Sluky. And fuck Maura for making me feel this goddamn helpless!_ Images of Maura with her succession of _men _chased each other through her brain, all the rage and hurt she'd spent so much time and energy suppressing, playing the good friend. Watching her every move so she didn't give anything away. It was never enough. _She_ would never be enough. _It's not fair! _Pain boiled up inside her, shooting through her heart and coursing through her body like poison. _It's just not fucking fair!_ She felt her vision begin to tunnel and her hands shake.

"Jane? Jane!"

"What?"

Maura didn't know how it had happened, but she'd obviously said something the upset Jane. She could see the walls go up behind those brown eyes, and Jane's posture stiffened almost imperceptibly. She gentled her voice, hoping she could circumvent an explosion of Rizzoli temper.

"Do you want me to talk to Dr. Sluky?"

Jane growled. "No, I don't want you to talk to Dr. Sucky. I am an adult, you know. I can drink when I want, I can swear when I want, and I can even jump on my couch if I want to! I don't need you or my mother checking up on me every minute of every day!" Maura tried to interject but Jane was on a roll. "I'm tired of everyone walking around me like I'm a fucking baby. Don't you read the papers? I'm a goddam hero." Red-faced, Jane lashed out at Maura. "If anything, you're more fucked up than I am. You talk to dead people more than the men you have sex with! You talk down to all the rest of us like we're stupid, but what you never seem to get is that no one gives a fuck. Everyone just tunes you out. Me, I think you do it so you can remind yourself that no one will ever be on your level, because if someone got close to you you might actually have to give a shit about them! Well guess what? I'm not going to stick around so you can have someone to practice your social skills on while you congratulate yourself on bringing culture to the poor, dumb cop. I've got some big words for you too, doc. Take your patronizing _bullshit _and leave."

For a moment, they stood face to face in stunned silence. Then, with a resounding _THWACK,_ Maura slapped Jane and stormed out of the apartment.

Blankly, Jane looked around as if surprised to find herself alone. She stumbled to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of pills still resting on the table where Maura had left it. Before all of...this...had happened. She'd only taken three so far today... "What the fuck." Jane mumbled, chasing four pills with a beer. _At least if I pass out I'll get some sleep._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: There's a plot here somewhere, I promise. Full disclosure, this chapter contains violence and references to domestic abuse that may be triggers for some people.**

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><p>Maura fidgeted uncomfortably. She'd left Jane's house in tears only to run into Angela on the steps of the apartment building. In a whirlwind of motherly concern, Angela had assessed the situation, decided that perhaps talking to Jane was not the best idea at the moment, and insisted the Maura was in no state to drive home alone. Which was how the good doctor had ended up at the Rizzoli kitchen table with a steaming plate of reheated leftovers and a glass of milk in front of her.<p>

"Now." Said Angela, drawing a chair up next to Maura. "Tell me what Jane did."

Maura shook her head in confusion. "I don't know what happened. I asked her about her pain and offered to ask Dr. Sulky to take another look at her side, and she just...she started yelling and accusing me of using her friendship as some sort of perverse science project!" Maura held her head high and stared at the ceiling, trying not to cry. Only Jane had ever been able to send her her emotions out of control like this, because for a long time Jane had been the only constant in her life, the only person who truly _mattered_.

Angela sighed and drew Maura into a hug. "Oh honey...Jane's a complicated person. I bet you know that better than anyone, huh?"

Maura sniffled and nodded into Angela's shoulder. Her parents had never been what you'd call 'touchy-feely,' and this was a new, but not altogether unpleasant, experience.

"Janie's always had an independent streak. It makes her who she is, but it gets her into trouble, too. You have to try to see it from her point of view. She fights so hard to not rely on anyone, and in one moment, it's been taken away from her and she has to rely on you, me, the doctors, everyone. We should probably be thankful it took her this long to start yelling at someone. I'm just sorry it had to be you."

Maura pulled back from the motherly embrace to look Angela in the eyes. "Frustration I could understand; I was even expecting it. But you didn't hear her...there was such anger, in her voice and in her eyes. I've never seen that before..." She shivered. _And I hope I never see it again._

Angela looked at Maura thoughtfully. "Has anything happened between you two since the accident?"

"No, nothing. Everything's been the same, as far as I know. Jane was doing remarkably well when she was staying at my house. I didn't see any symptoms of depression at all. I suppose she's been a little upset since them, but nothing..."

"Hm...and you just thought to ask her doctor to take a look at her? I don't know..." Suddenly she started. "I didn't know you knew her doctor."

"Well, I wasn't referring to her primary care physician. Dr. Sulky and I have gone on a few dates and I offered to..."

"You've been dating her surgeon?"

The tone of her voice startled Maura. "Is that bad?"

Angela looked to the heavens and prayed for strength. Really, these two were going to be the death of her someday. Was it too much to ask for the two girls to admit that they were in love and get on with giving her grandchildren already?

"No sweetie, it's not bad...I mean it's probably some kind of conflict of interest but, no, I don't think you did anything wrong."

"What should I do? The way Jane sounded, I'm not sure she ever wants to see me again."

"My Janie's a little dense sometimes but she's not that dumb. You're the best thing to happen to her in a long time. Just give her some time and go back to see her. She may be stubborn but don't let her off the hook. She'll come around."

* * *

><p>Jane blearily stared around her living room, wondering when it started looking like a tornado had come through. Takeout containers littered the table and kitchen counter, while her clothes were tossed haphazardly over the chairs and couch. Books and magazines were stacked in small piles like mountains and an empty beer bottle rested precariously on a tower of dvds. It had only been a couple of days since her fight with Maura, but with nothing to do but eat, sleep, and watch tv, it seemed that her apartment had gone to pot pretty quickly.<p>

_ Maura_. Jane shook her head. She didn't want to think about that day, the horrible things she'd said to the woman she claimed to love. In a way it was funny; her days since were much the same as the days before. Sleep continued to elude her, filling her mind with a fog. Pain was a constant, in her head, in her side. It seemed to radiate from her very bones. She studiously refused to pay attention to the ever decreasing number of pills in her little bottle – she was in pain, and she had pain pills, so what was the problem? She'd been shot, after all, and if that didn't entitle her to a few pills then she didn't know what did. She followed the directions on the bottle to the letter, only taking a couple every four hours, when the pain become too much and she could no longer maintain her vigil in front of the television.

Jane didn't know if she'd lost her best friend that day. Neither Maura nor her mother had called since then, which worried her. Her mom always warned her that she wasn't too big to take over her knee, and she might be tempted to try it if she'd somehow found out what she'd said to Maura. She'd immediately claimed the doctor as one of the family; Jane had often joked that she was just happy to finally have a daughter she could talk about girly things with. There was no telling what her mother would do now. Not that it would matter. She'd be more than willing to take any punishment her mom could think up. She certainly deserved it.

Honestly, she wouldn't blame Maura if she never talked to her again. She'd basically accused her of abusing their friendship and being a cold, unfeeling bitch – after she'd almost gotten into fist-fights with a couple of beat cops months ago for calling the ME the same damn thing! If this was friendship - if this was what Jane called love - maybe Maura really shouldn't be talking to her. Hell, she didn't even deserve to get jealous about Maura's love life – no wonder she didn't want to be involved with people on a personal level, if Jane, her best friend, was going to hurt her like that!

A sharp knock at the door broke Jane from her self-hatred. Glaring at whoever was on the other side, she pushed herself up and walked over to open it, looking out the peephole out of habit. Astonished at the figure she saw standing there, she eased her gun out of a side-table and opened the door.

Paddy Doyle greeted her with a wide smile. "You can put your gun away, _garda_. I'm not here to fight."

"Then what the hell are you doing here, Doyle?"

"Invite me in and I'll tell you all about it. Unless you want a wanted criminal standing outside your apartment?"

Jane suddenly seemed to remember where she was, and glanced around the empty hallway as if someone were suddenly going to jump out and yell 'Boo!' "Fine. Get in here." As soon as Doyle was inside, she quickly closed and bolted the door.

"So?"

Doyle made himself comfortable on the sofa, seeming not at all bothered by the suspicious glare Jane was giving him, or the fact that she had yet to put her gun away.

"How's your side, Detective? Still givin' ya trouble?"

"It's been better. You going to tell me what you're up to? 'Cause I doubt you just dropped by to check on my health."

"You're a good person, for a cop. I need a favor from you."

"That's easy. No. Nice to see you, too bad you couldn't stay."

Doyle ignored her. "I think you'll care about this one. One of my...friends...has a problem. He just found out his son-in-law is abusing his daughter and granddaughter. I need a safe place to take them while we have a talk with the man."

Jane stared at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding? I could lose my job over this. In fact, I could lose my job if anyone even knew you were here!"

"And if anyone knew you'd given me Tommy O'Rourke? Or did you think we were gonna have a nice cup 'o' tea?"

"That was different..."

"I know it was. And maybe it's not fair to ask this of you, either. But someone needs to take care of these two women, and I need it to be someone I can trust. Mind if I get some water?"

Jane shook her head; the sudden request had put her off balance. She followed him into the kitchen, watching as her searched for a glass. "Why not just call the police?"

"You know we can't do that. Even if you're not in my line of work, what does callin' the cops get you? A restraining order, maybe a night or two in jail. This man, he's got a lot of money. Friends in all the right places, on both sides o' the law, if you catch my meanin'. Family means a lot in our world. To a man like him, it means he's not gonna let his go without a fight, e'en if they end up dead in the process."

"Where do I come in?"

"I've got an room about fifteen minutes from here, where we'll bring the ladies so they'll be safe just in case anything goes wrong. I just need you to stay with them for a couple hours while I take care of everything. Then they'll be free to start their lives again and you can come back to your vacation."

"What'd you need me for, Doyle? Don't tell me you don't have anyone else who'd be willing to help you out if it's such an easy job."

"Like I said, the guy's got a lot of friends. I need someone I know doesn't have any ties to him; these things can get a bit...complicated sometimes."

Jane paused, watching Doyle. The worst part of this whole damn thing was he was right. Oh, she didn't have to like it, and she was definitely sure that she didn't want to be involved in any of this, but if Doyle was right about this man he'd never see the inside of a jail cell. And it would be the wife who paid for it. Before she'd made detective she'd seen many times when women either wouldn't or couldn't press charges against abusive husbands. Hell, just a few years ago, three cops had died after reporting to a domestic dispute and being shot by an irate husband. She remembered going to that house herself, once – the BPD had visited the area several times for disputes before the last, fatal shooting. She considered the mobster, who was leaning against a counter, sipping water as if he had all the time in the world. Jane prided herself on her ability to read people – it was a requirement in her line of work, and it had saved her ass more times than she cared to think about. She might have taken some hits recently, but... her gut told her that Doyle was on the level.

Doyle's voice interrupted her internal monologue. "I know you don't think too much of me an' what I used to do, _garda_, but it's a hell of a complicated world out there, and there's a lot of evil in it. People like you and me, we try to do the best we can to protect our family and the few innocents still left. The problems are messy, and sometimes the solutions have to be a bit messy too. I swear, I wouldn't be asking you if I thought any harm would come of it."

"Alright. What do you need me to do?"

"I'll be over tomorrow night at nine to pick you up. If anyone's planning on checking in on you then, call them before and tell them you're feeling too tired for visitors and you're just going to sleep. Mary and Elizabeth will meet us there. After it's over I'll be by to pick you up and bring you back home. No harm done."

"I'll take care of it."

"It's a good thing you're doing, _garda_." Doyle left as abruptly as he had arrived, and Jane locked the door behind him, already planning for the day ahead. She winced as a pang in her side caused her to catch her breath, and downed a pill and a glass of water before settling down on the couch. The television cast an otherworldly glow on her face as the medicine took hold and she drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

><p>By 8:30 the next day Jane still hadn't heard from her mother, Maura, or any of her coworkers, so she'd sent Frost and Korsak text messages warning them that she wasn't to be disturbed tonight. They were smart enough to know to avoid Jane when she was in a bad mood. She'd thought about calling her mom, but she was worried if she told her mother she was in pain she'd insist on bringing her some disgusting home remedy. In dark jeans and a t-shirt, with her gun strapped to her side, she almost felt like herself again.<p>

Doyle knocked on her door at exactly 9 o'clock. Idly, she wondered if punctuality ran in his family. He led her downstairs to a black sedan, and motioned for her to sit in the passenger seat. They didn't talk until well after he'd pulled away from her apartment building.

"You okay _garda_?"

"Just want to get this over with."

"It's not good for you, being cooped up at home with nothing to do. I'd be going crazy myself."

"It's not so bad. My friends come and keep me company."

An uneasy silence fell over the car for several minutes before Doyle spoke again. "How's Maura?"

"She's fine."

Doyle flicked his eyes sideways, considering his words carefully. She hadn't mentioned the talk they'd had in the hospital, and he wasn't sure she even remembered it. He'd seen enough traumatic experiences to know the tricks a person's mind could play on them.

"I heard about what went down at the police station."

"Yeah, I figured that when you turned up at my apartment wanting to know about my gunshot wound."

"Hm. It's tough when one'a you're own turns like that. Messes with your head."

"My head's fine. It was the hole in my stomach that almost killed me."

The detective was obviously in no mood to talk. He pulled into an alleyway and stopped in front of a very plain looking door.

"Go ahead and get everything set up. I'll wait outside for the girls."

Jane opened the door and was surprised to see a bright and cheery apartment set up behind it. Even though it was only one large room, there was a small kitchen area set up with a refrigerator and microwave, and a full bed in one corner, surrounded by a curtain that could be pulled closed for privacy. Closer to the door was a sofa and a small television. She wondered how long Doyle had owned this property, if he even did own it, and what stories the four walls had seen.

A knock startled her and she decided to err on the side of caution, easing her sidearm out of the holster and glancing out the peephole in an eerie parallel of the event that had started this whole adventure yesterday. Doyle and two frightened women waited outside, and she hurried to let them in.

"Jane, I'd like you to meet Mary and her daughter Elizabeth. Mary, Jane's going to watch out for you tonight and make sure you have everything you need. Why don't you go sit down and get comfortable?"

Mary nodded to Jane and led her daughter over to sit down on the bed. The girl looked to be about fourteen and seemed to be in shock. Jane noticed the awkward way Mary walked and recognized the signs of prolonged physical abuse. She was surprised to feel a sudden surge of rage toward the husband who had sworn to love and protect this woman. It was the most emotion she'd felt in a long time.

"Try to get them to rest a bit, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Don't open the door for anyone but me."

Jane snorted. After her experiences with Hoyt, she was an expert at paranoid home protection. "Got it chief. Don't worry about us."

Doyle offered a few comforting words to Mary and Elizabeth before disappearing through the front door into the night.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes passed in uncomfortable silence. Jane had tried, briefly, to make some small-talk, but she'd never been any good at it and the two other women didn't seem very interested. In fact, Elizabeth hadn't said a word since they'd gotten here. She'd settled on flipping through channels with the television on mute when she heard a car pull up outside the door. She motioned to Mary to close the curtains around the bed and reached for her gun as the engine died. With her gun pointed at the door, she'd almost convinced herself it was a coincidence when a shot rang out, shattering the wood around the lock on the door and spraying Jane with splinters.<p>

"Where the hell's my wife, you bitch?" A large man yelled as he swung a handgun wildly around the room, searching for the women.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jane tried to remain calm, hoping that by some miracle she could talk her way out of this mess. It certainly wasn't how she wanted to die. Maybe she should have listened to Maura when she kept telling her there was no such thing as a gut instinct.

"I know they're here. Paddy's dumber than he looks if he thinks I'm gonna let him get away with breaking up my family." His eyes settled on the curtained corner and Jane cursed inwardly. "Mary! I know you're there. Get Beth and come with me and we'll forget all about this little...indiscretion." He began to take a step towards them and Jane tightened her grip on her gun.

"Stay right there. She's not going anywhere she doesn't want to go."

"She's my wife, and she'll do as I say! Don't think I won't shoot you if you get in my way."

A pale and shaking Mary emerged from the bed. "He'll do it Jane. He'll kill all of us if I don't go with him."

"It's going to be okay Mary. I'm not going to let him hurt you." Jane tried to reassure the woman. How she was going to accomplish all that, she wasn't so sure.

The man growled, fury in his eyes as he hesitated a moment, not sure whether to aim his gun at the detective or his wife. Two loud shots rang out and his eyes widened for a moment in surprise as he slumped forward. Behind him, a red-faced Doyle lowered his gun and took stock of the room, making sure everyone was safe. "Take Liz to the car, Mary. John'll drive you to your father's."

Mary pulled her daughter close to her, shielding her from the sight of her dead father and leading her out the door to a waiting car. When the young girl was safe in the back seat, she came back inside and walked up to Jane. To the detective's surprise, she seemed relieved and more at ease than she'd looked all night, despite the tears streaming down her face. Mary gave Jane a hug and a kiss on either cheek. "I owe you my life. You and Paddy have set me free tonight, Jane. My daughter and I will pray for you every night." She offered a hug and kiss to Paddy, who accepted with a few whispered words of comfort.

Jane watched the car pull away, then turned to Doyle. "What the hell happened?"

The Irishman's eyes were cold as he glanced down at the body on the floor. "Somebody tipped him off that I was bringing them here." He continued, anticipating her next question. "Don't worry. I didn't tell anyone who you were or that you were here at all. C'mon, let's get you home. I'll call someone to take care of this dog."

"That's an insult to dogs."

Doyle barked out a sharp laugh as he slid behind the wheel of his car. "Too true."

The drive home was as silent and uncomfortable as the one earlier, although this time for different reasons. Before she could get out of the car, however, Doyle dropped a small bag in her lap.

"Don't' think I didn't see you still favoring that side. Doctors don't know the kind of pain this life puts you through, _garda_. You have to deal with it somehow."

Inside the bag was a bottle of hydrocodone, the dosage she had been taking and prescribed to her.

"Picked that up yesterday when I saw you were running low. It's all legit; a doctor friend of mine owed me a favor. Those hospital docs never give you as much as you need and I figured all this excitement might've set back your recuperation a bit. No reason you should be in pain when there's bad guys on the streets who need catching." He looked at her a moment. "Seems I owe you once more, detective."

Jane tucked the bottle into her pocket. "Well, you did shoot the bastard before he had a chance to put another hole in me."

"I put you in that position in the first place." He pulled a card out of his wallet that had a single telephone number printed on it. "You ever need anything, call that number. Day or night."

Jane got out of the car but lingered at the door to her apartment building, watching Doyle's car as he drove out of sight. She sighed into the cool air, wondering if the night's events were truly over.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: And now, here's something I think you'll really like. If you do, review it, 'cause that really does make updates come a lot faster :)**

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><p>Strong hands slid around Maura's sides to rest on her naked stomach as soft lips pressed hotly against her neck. The doctor groaned and surrendered herself to the intoxicating touches of her lover, her knees going weak as she pressed herself against the body behind her. She felt more than heard a soft laugh next to her ear, and her lover turned to lower her to their bed. Maura smiled shyly into chocolate-brown eyes, reveling in the crisp, cool feel of sheets underneath her. "Jane..." she breathed, as the brunette's lips drifted feather-light against her skin. Jane sighed and continued teasing her, studiously avoiding her breasts, seeming much more interested in the trails of goose-bumps she had managed to create on Maura's flawless skin.<p>

Flames of desire coursed across Maura's skin. She had never felt the way with any other lover as she did with Jane. With every touch she could feel the care, almost reverence Jane felt for her. As Jane finally, _finally, _worked her way to Maura's hardened nipples she gasped and arched her back, her body begging for more desperate contact with the wet heat of Jane's mouth. Her legs slid deliciously across the bed as her hips moved against the detective. Jane sucked lightly at her breast, one hand coming up to roll the other nipple between lithe fingers. As she felt her body respond, felt herself grow wet and swollen in anticipation of her lover's touch, Maura tried to categorize the changes taking place within her body. If she could only force herself to think, to gain some sense of objectivity, she felt that she could regain some much-needed control.

As if she'd read her mind, Jane did this _thing_ with her tongue and everything Maura had been trying to concentrate on fled from her brain on a tidal wave of feeling. It was all Maura could do to focus on not shoving Jane's head down to where she wanted it most.

Jane laved her tongue over Maura's nipple then deposited a reluctant kiss on her breast, slowly trailing her mouth over Maura's soft skin, finally settling her body in between the doctor's thighs. Maura sighed and tangled her hands in Jane's hair as she felt Jane's mouth cover her clit. She was hot and wet and oh, so ready. Maura was wholly preoccupied with the absolutely stunning effect Jane was producing with her mouth. She briefly wondered if this was an acquired skill or another one of those things Jane was inexplicably good at. She gasped and bucked involuntarily when she felt Jane's fingers enter her. Jane was inside her, taking her, and suddenly there was heat and electricity and she was falling, falling, and there was nothing but Jane, Jane, Jane.

* * *

><p>"Jane" Maura jolted awake with the detective's name still on her lips. Sitting straight up in bed, she ran a hand shakily through her mussed hair. She was no stranger to sexual dreams, and understood the necessity of healthy fantasy as a way to deal with the pressures of daily life. But she rarely dreamt of real people, and those dreams had certainly never featured her best friend. Until now.<p>

Maura padded into her bathroom, drawing a bath as she considered the repercussions of her dream. She had always considered Jane an attractive woman, much more attractive than she seemed to give herself credit for. She'd even told the detective as much, on several different occasions. But actively dreaming about sex with a woman, with her best friend...this was new, disturbing territory. Oh, not that she had any problem with two women being together, or even being involved with a woman herself. But Jane, Jane was the best friend she'd ever had, one of the only friends she'd ever had. There was absolutely no reason she should be thinking of Jane in any other capacity.

Thinking of Jane in capacities only made her recall the gentle, loving touch of her dream. A sudden wave of emotion overwhelmed her, as she remembered vividly the way a dream – a dream about her very female, very _straight_ best friend - had made her feel more than any lover in a very, very long time.

Maura shook her head. This was obviously her subconscious' way of synthesizing the emotional problems that she had been having lately. It had only been a few days since she and Jane had fought, and they hadn't spoken to each other at all during that time. This was highly unusual for them and must be the reason the idea of Jane had manifested so prominently in her sleep. Her relationship with Dr. Sluky had also entered a rocky period, which could definitely account for the sexual side of her dreams. Although she had never been partial to Freud's theory of the unconscious, studies had shown a link between daily troubles and the dream state. She nodded, satisfied with her reasoning. She would go to see Jane tomorrow to get this whole thing straitened out, and she would no longer have to worry about strange dreams interrupting her nights.

* * *

><p>Jane was sulking. She seemed to do that a lot lately, ever since Maura – and her mother, although she would never have admitted it – stopped visiting. It had only been a few days since Jane and Maura had fought, but it felt like for-fucking-ever! That...whatever it was with Doyle had provided a distraction as long as it had lasted, but thinking about it now just made her head hurt. So her only other options for thoughts were Maura or, well...okay, Maura was pretty much the only thing she though about. And they hadn't fought so much as Jane had made a total ass of herself to one of the only people who actually mattered.<p>

A knock at the door startled Jane. It was way too late for either Frost or Korsak to visit, and for one frightening moment she thought it was Doyle with another illegal errand for her to run. But the person on the other side of the door was much scarier than a retired mob enforcer.

Maura shifted nervously as she waited for Jane to answer the door. She still had no idea what she was going to say to the detective, and she hated being unprepared. But last night's dream still played across her mind, and try as she might, she couldn't quite distance herself from the way Jane's fingers had played across her skin, the way her mouth, hot and wet, had taken her...she let out a surprised gasp when the object of her musings presented itself in front of her.

"Maura?"

The doctor took some comfort from the fact that Jane seemed just as scared by this confrontation as she was. "Jane. May I come in?" Luckily, long years of manners training took over in her time of need.

Jane looked somewhat stunned, but moved aside to let Maura in anyway. She stood awkwardly, looking at anything but the M.E. while Maura took a seat on the couch.

"We need to talk, Jane."

"Maura, I know what you're going to say. But before you do, I just want to say that I'm really sorry. I know I was a jerk, and I have no excuse for it." She glanced around the room, hoping to find something she could focus on without looking like a complete idiot. "I hope you can forgive me and we can go back to being friends like we used to."

"I don't think that can happen Jane."

"Oh."

"I don't mean that we aren't still friends, but we can't just pretend that that never happened. You said some things that really hurt me, and we have to deal with that." Maura sighed. "I understand that you have been under an immense amount of stress after the shooting and that you were acting out of anger and frustration that was not necessarily directed at me. But you need to understand that I'm not going to take those words lightly. Your injuries do not justify lashing out at me the way you did, and it's not the kind of behavior I expect from my 'best friend.'"

Jane winced. "I deserve that. You're right. I was an asshole and I said a lot of things I didn't mean. You _are _my best friend, Maura, and I took advantage of that by trying to hurt you because I was hurting. It was stupid and immature and I've been regretting it ever since." A nervous hand went uncertainly to the back of her neck. "I guess all I can do is say 'I'm sorry,' and keep saying it until you believe me."

Maura's eyes softened and she smiled at Jane. The detective's voice and posture were so unconsciously apologetic that it melted something inside her. She really did believe that Jane was sorry for her earlier actions, and although she wasn't quite ready to let her off the hook yet, she didn't mind letting it go for now. She rose from the couch and wondered to herself what the odds were that there was anything left in Jane's kitchen after she and Angela had been gone for several days. After opening the pantry and the refrigerator to no avail, she returned to a decidedly befuddled detective.

"Detective, I believe you can start by buying me dinner."

**Thoughts, comments, criticisms?**


End file.
